By Mindi Kelly
Matrescence: /mæˈtres.ənts/ noun [U] – the process of becoming a mother: the physical, psychological and emotional changes experienced after the birth of your child.
This is largely an unfamiliar concept in the Western world, yet a brutal and intrepid journey mothers go through.
“It takes a village…”, as the saying goes, and I think there’s a reason! Motherhood can be secretly shrouded in darkness; it can be a harrowing, lonely and utterly exhausting experience. It tests your limits and can leave you questioning your own sanity. If you’ve ever felt like that, know that you’re not crazy and you are not alone.
Matrescence is often described as the becoming of a mother, but in truth, it can feel like an undoing. It dismantles identity, exposes conditioning and invites you to rebuild from instinct rather than expectation. If you allow it, it forges a woman who is wiser, sharper and more self-trusting than she ever imagined.
My initiation into motherhood and matrescence began earlier than expected. I was barely out of my teens when I found myself with a newborn as my world reshaped dramatically. Within a week of becoming a mother, I became a single one. We were young, naïve and tentative. Sometimes there are those moments in life when a door closes behind you, and you realise there is no going back to who you were. That was one of mine.
Back then I was completing university, working, sports and boarding, life was full! Yet a fierce determination grew in me – not loud confidence, but a quiet resolve. I would finish what I had started. I would build a life forward. “Fear is a liar”, I told myself. I would not let it rule me. Looking back now, I see that this was my first truly raw experience through young motherhood, not the romanticised version, but a rugged initiation that stripped away my illusions and demanded resilience. It grew me. Quick.
Now, my family has grown and reshaped itself in ways I could never have predicted. There were loves lost, endings and new beginnings. I now juggle my business and an abundant blended home of five children. We’re full of big personalities, weird smells and loud laughter.
As the years have gone by, managing all my children’s health and wellness needs has been a mammoth task. They all have their intricacies! The learning curves presented themselves in many ways: persistent health challenges, broken bones, “failure to thrive”, allergies, anxiety, challenging behaviour and sensory overload. It was endless appointments and unanswered questions that left me feeling underserved. I was capable yet felt powerless. I had outsourced my authority to other people and to systems that did not see the whole child. So I took back control and started learning for myself. I asked questions and opened doors. It led me to understand food as medicine and made space for incredible healing in my family.
This season of learning quietly changed the direction of my life. I retrained, studied Integrative Health, psychotherapy and counselling, nervous system science and ancestral wisdom, not to control life, but to meet it with clarity and knowledge rather than fear. As I adapted approaches and supported my kids’ bodies, the changes were undeniable. Their fragility and sensitivities began to strengthen. It wasn’t all instant. It wasn’t perfect. But it was proof that healing and growth were possible.
These experiences cemented something motherhood had already begun teaching me: we are far more resilient than we feel at times. The body is not broken by default; it is intelligent and adaptive. It shows us that when the load is reduced and foundations restored, healing is not mystical; it is biological.
